Neither a Casanova, nor a virgin !

‘Neither a Casanova nor a virgin’, sounds interesting as well as nebulous too. The phrase depicts an uncertainty or indecision or to put it in direct and simple terms, a state of confusion. On a closer look, the caption shows too contrasting characters a person can be in state of i.e. two extremities a pendulum can reach.

Think of a pendulum, still at its position. It won’t move at its own till it gets a push in either of the direction. So is a common. Very much stable in day to day routine life, he is quite reluctant to changes till he gets a push, which may or may not be favorable. Even if has the willingness to change, a cloud of uncertainty, indecision and confusion is there enveloping his thought process. His first step towards any situations is under compulsion. The compulsion can be a strong motivating incentive which is too lucrative to reject or an extreme crisis where he has no other option than to change his guard and in absence of any of these, he often settles down for the vanilla; mediocrity !!

This explanation can not be generalized to all but definitely to the majority who incidentally are called mediocre or middle class people in common parlance. These people are marked by their characteristic of leaving a lot to the fate. But who fall under this typical class?? The persons, who fulfill any of the following criteria, are part of the segment I am talking about.

1. The person is having mediocre academic records.
2. The person is ‘Jack of all trades but master of none’, apart from academics.
3. The person is bourgeoisie.

These criteria are very important to understand as they will be referred time to time again. Ideally the most suitable example for such kind of person would be the one who satisfies the entire three criterions. He is the person who has to face the most ‘adversities’ in his life. He has brains, but not enough. He has resources but partially inadequate and is talented but not attention grabbing. So whenever the person asses himself, he finds himself better than most of the persons around but still he is no where near the top, be it any field. The glory eludes him, may be by a whisker but there is the slip between cup and the lip. The person here is compelled to lead a life of late 20^th century despite being well into the new millennium. His limited resources force him to have a limited exposure, outlook and use of modern technology and in turn a limited mindset. He arrives at all the milestones in life but may be a fraction later than he could.

At this juncture, two questions provoke my mediocre brain. First, how such unfavorable grounds for a person is created and secondly, are the people of the class we are talking about are the unsuccessful in life? To answer the questions, we can take the person fulfilling all the three situations. The possibility of having combination of any two ‘qualities’  is also there but for our simplicity, we’ll take persons who fulfill one of the parameters only and see how complex things can get in life.

Taking the first question, first that how such situation arises? In language of a demagogue politician, the answer would be that the rich people have always capitalized on poor masses’ limitations. The gap has widened through the years and we need to change the social imbalance. In my view I rule out any such phenomenon especially in third world where everyone is to be held responsible for his own condition. The world today is more of a selfish world and if anyone has failed to recognize and exploit the opportunity, no one else can be blamed. I must remind that by saying selfish here, I do not mean unethical. Someone perhaps was frank or may be shameless and knocked on the door of the ‘do not disturb’ opportunity at the right time. He has gained advantage over others sitting and waiting for some kind of miracle to happen before they knock at their door. ‘Nirlajjam sadaa sukhi’ !!

Coming back to the circumference within which a mediocre life is so called compelled to live. There are many reasons creating such restrictions. First is financial background. A not so sound financial background force a person to compromise on education, technology and knowledge despite being aware of the latest developments around. It will be a mistake to adjudge that person as a poor person. In fact the person is having his resources but limited and some major priorities. His limited funds make all his desires take a back seat. He allowing the situation to take over, most of the times helplessly watches what is happening around in the world.

Now let us look at the second question which is still staring us that are mediocre people successful in life? Then let us find out what does the term ‘being successful’ means? If getting bread and butter twice a day and 365 days a year is meant by being successful, then even a menial dog is enjoying success (no offence to pugs!).

It is very difficult to define ‘success’ in clear and concrete terms as it will differ from person to person. I personally feel that despite having our own definition of success, there is one common chord on which we all will have sync. Is the person achieving his set goals and desired social status? Sounds logical to an extent but only when a clause is attached. The set goals must be socially acceptable and higher than the prevailing status of the person. As success is a relative term, until the change is relatively positive, it can not be termed success.

Now when we have defined our way of measuring ‘success’, it is time to get back to the discussion that whether the person meeting all the conditions of a mediocrity is worse off than the person who is meeting only one of such conditions? The following example will clarify our thoughts and will give new insights to our discussion.

There were three friends, let us say Mr. A, Mr. B and Mr. C. Amazingly all of them were mediocre of one kind or the other.  Mr. A was academically barely competent, enough only to avoid any unwanted grades. Mr. B was a jack of all trades while Mr. C had a lower middle class background.

The trio had some amazing qualities to complement. Mr. A, son of a well off businessman, was a good sportsman. Once he managed to clear his school, he joined a training camp and with a personal gymnasium at home, he soon became a national level player. As he had no reasons to worry for his bread, butter and shelter, he devoted his time to his sports. With passage of time he turned professional and earned quite a name for himself. Soon he found few sponsors ready to bestow a fortune on him and he gladly accepted the offer. Now he had more than a name in society.

His friend Mr. B as I said was jack of all trades but a very good student. His academics were simply outstanding and even his fallen grades used to be an ‘A’. Though he didn’t have anything else to boost, his academic records were recognized everywhere. His father, a respectable man in society could afford a part of his education only but with help of scholarships and continuous merit record, he moved ahead and landed up being a scientist. His contributions to field of science were well recognized.

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The third of the three musketeers Mr. C was a good student and a very good painter. He unfortunately didn’t have a decent family financial backup. So once he was through with the school he had a very tough time arranging his funds for higher studies. He then decided to sell of his paintings made during his free times. Though the situation he faced was not as simple as the description, he somehow managed to graduate and get a decent job. His exceptional talent still seconds his financial stature but more importantly he is widely known in the society for organizing regular painting exhibitions and workshops. His journey to success was a rollercoaster ride but eventually he was equally respectable and sound as his other friends.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention, there was another batch mate of them. I forgot to mention his name earlier but considering that even his friends remember him only after a reminder, the intensity of my mistake is somewhat pardonable. The reason why we always forget Mr….. I am sorry I forgot his name… let us say Mr. D is because he was not good at anything we can remember off. However, he was not bad at anything either. In language of our discussion, he was the best mediocre, a mediocre financially, academically and talent wise too if he had any. His father was a local small merchant. Once he had his basic education complete, he didn’t have enough to go for more degrees. With no outstanding qualities to support his candidature, even jobs were not so easy to come by. Hence he had no other option than to assist his father. He expanded his father’s small shop to whatever extent he could with his limited capital. His conditions improved and with little effort and some luck, he was owner of one of the landmark superstore in the vicinity. He was not as widely recognized in the world as his other colleagues were yet he was satisfied and carrying out a decent and contended life- until he went for his batch reunion.

He met all his friends and teachers but was feeling a bit uncomfortable in the meeting. In the party it was decided to award the all round best student of the batch. To everyone’s surprise Mr. D won the award as he had an average record in every field considered for evaluation, be it academics, talent, sports or whatever. His other friends had very good score in one of the sections evaluated but they had their other sections begging for some score.

To this award however, Mr. D didn’t react with a very warm feelings. His reaction had a tone of bitterness which was a mystery for many. Now let us put ourselves in his shoe and think, how we would have reacted in such situation? What we need is a rational approach and not an emotional approach. The idea of giving the example was not to create a sympathetic ground but highlight their inability to achieve and accept greatness. One thing is sure that nobody did anything wrong to Mr. D. neither he met any accidents or natural calamities nor his family lost everything in a shipwreck.  The only thing which happened against him is that he didn’t get any support from anywhere to carry out his further studies or train for sports/ music. Thus my point- even under very neutral circumstances where a person doesn’t face any adversities but doesn’t get any help either, he is not so successful and remains very much close to his steady neutral position. (Remember, the pendulum, steady at its position until pushed.)

The Conclusion:

To conclude, we can say that a person must understand his capabilities, limitations as well as his knack. Accordingly, he must develop and adapt himself. My idea behind this writing was neither to create a sympathy wave nor to criticize but to expose the middle class mentality. But to bring in a feeling where they start celebrating their mediocrity as long as they are happy with it. If we flip the pages of history, we’ll find that out of 100 great men, only five were privileged ones, rest all achieved their greatness by their effort and dedication. The situation what Albert Einstein, Hitler or even our very first president Dr. Rajendra Prasad faced in their early days is worse than what Mr. D had. Yet they created the difference. I am not giving any motivational lecture on how to be successful in life as my motif here was only to highlight the problem which is acceptance of mediocrity as a scar to live with. The solution of the problem is already available in abundance and is given by many greats. Hence I have decided to restrict my job to only problem recognition.

To conclude, I can say that a person is neither a Casanova nor a virgin on his own and I do not consider innocence as virginity. It is the situation and his reaction to the situation which determines what he becomes. Hence, what a mediocre needs to do is to change his mindset and stop blaming the situation anymore. All one needs to do is to provide bricks and mortar to his thoughts and aspirations and pop a champagne for their ever lasting and soul satisfying state of above average mediocrity. It is them who have made the aces look great and being a jack doesn’t always mean that you are a jackass !